Sunday, November 24, 2013

A Full Heart

       As I sit here tonight and write, I cannot help but to have a full heart. My heart is full of happiness, love, friends, babies, lots and lots of babies, but most of all assurance. My heart is full of all things that make me sit back and say, "things are going exactly the way they are suppose to". We all have those days that we question ourselves, we question our ability as a mother, as a spouse, as a daughter, and even as a friend, but when my heart feels as happy as it does tonight, 
I feel assured that I am doing something right.

       I have been thinking a lot lately about friends and why friendships change so much once babies come along. It is a very bitter sweet situation. I have friends that have been in my life for close to 16 years and we still talk on a weekly basis. Elliana knows and loves these friends, and friendships like those are the ones that I want my Ellie girl to grow up knowing exist. 

       My mama friends. My mama tribe. My everyday, go to girls. Literally everyday. We have running text messages that make Nick laugh every time he hears my text beep go off 30 times in 5 minutes. He knows who I am talking to and doesn't even ask what we are talking about. He knows it has something to do with birthing, breastfeeding, how many times our kids have pooped that day, or funny things our kids said or did that day. This relationship is something that was fast growing and becomes more and more tight knit everyday. We get each other. We understand that what works for my family might not work for theirs, we understand that we all do certain things to calm our babies, or say certain things that the other one might not, but the most amazing thing about these mamas, is that it doesn't matter how much we do things the same of how differently we may be raising our families, we don't feel the need to judge each other. 

       I feel like that is one of the hardest parts about becoming a mother, dealing with harsh words from other mothers, from people who don't have kids. family, or pre-baby friends. It's like a jungle full of mama bears all roaring to protect their young, except that's not how it has to be. Whether you breastfeed and I bottle feed, whats the most important thing? The fact that our babies are fed. Whether you bed-share and I put my baby in a crib, our babies are well rested. You had a hospital birth and I had a home birth, our babies are healthy and happy so who cares how they came into this crazy beautiful world. We both love our babies and are raising them to be stand up humans of society. We are doing this the best way we know how to, and that in itself makes us 
incredible mothers

       Whether friendships began years and years ago or they started once you began having babies, cherish them. Even if you don't talk to those certain friends near as often as you'd like, or don't have much of a relationship anymore, realize that you were friends at one time and that friendship shaped the person you have become today. Whether it taught you how to let go or how to love, it taught you something. Everyone has come into my life at exactly the right moment, and the same has happened with people leaving my life. There are certain friends that were "pre-baby friends" but that doesn't mean I love them any less, it just means that they no longer fit into my mama puzzle. Life is short so surround yourself with people who you enjoy being around and who make you a better version of yourself, a more patient mother, a more loving spouse, and a more creative you. 


Friday, November 8, 2013

15 Glorious Months

       As I sit and stare at my beautiful baby sleeping, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that she is 15 months old today. I look at her on a daily basis and I am mesmerized by the beautiful little rascal she is becoming. She is so observant and interested in everything we do and it makes my heart so happy to know that she is learning by watching Nick and I ! To know that we are not only responsible for her health and well being daily, but responsible for the young lady and woman she will one day become. 

                I sit and wonder, who will she be...will she love sports? will she love make up? will she want to be a scientist? a famous movie star? what will she dream of?! All of this runs through my head and all I can think about is how much I want her to enjoy life. I wish upon all the stars that she is obsessed with learning. That she laughs everyday. That she loves herself. That she finds happiness in everything she does, and she never lets her dreams fade

      I am so beyond blessed by the life I have been given! To be given a life where I can enjoy watching this little human grow and learn every single day just makes me think about how this is all I ever wanted. I have always wanted to be a mommy. My earliest memories were carrying around a baby doll all day everyday and it didn't take long to master the baby on my hip carry. Whenever babies were around I was happy. Now I wake up with my own little girl staring in my eyes and needing me, such bliss.

      I cannot thank Nicholas enough for working so hard and allowing me to stay home and be the mommy I've always dreamed of being. To be able to sit at home and watch her grow, dream with her, & explore with her, so priceless. 15 months of motherhood has been the greatest time of my life and I am so excited about the next few months. She is growing like crazy, talking up a storm, running everywhere, nursing like a champ and laughing at everything! Clearly I am loving this age and I know it's only going to get better! 

Enjoy every minute mamas, it's goes too fast!